I Don’t care about natural childbirth
Let me be clear. I SUPPORT natural childbirth, much like the way I support public assistance legislation, traffic laws, and rules against puppy kicking. But, I have no agenda with natural childbirth and no personal convictions about it. I care about a healthy mom and a live baby, and sometimes that involves interventions. As long as everyone is OK in the end, I simply don’t care if their journey was medicated.
This is partly why I usually do not label myself as crunchy. Crunchy used to just mean someone who was into recycling, eating whole foods, and buying organic shampoo. In the past 10 years or so though, it has taken on an additional philosophy about parenting choices that have nothing to do with the Earth or your homemade granola.
There is nothing wrong with being a natural birth advocate, but I don’t care to get involved. Most women who needed interventions to get a healthy baby feel bad enough about it without being told they are less than.
Giving birth is amazing. It is also horrible. You can wax on about your body blossoming like a lotus flower and bring forth life all you like, but I found nothing empowering about 46 hours of labor and 50 some odd stitches in my bottom.
The amazing part is that beautiful baby in the end. I was lucky to have vaginal deliveries despite my babies being in poor positions and well overdue. I had feared that since they took intervention to be conceived, they might need more help getting out.
I was lucky. As is anyone who gets to take their baby home. And maybe that is partly responsible for where my feelings lay. There is nothing unnatural about a baby. No matter how they get here.
I feel no need to sit and examine my own deliveries, let alone passionately ponder the experiences of others. If they are OK with it, why should I care? None of my business.
With sanctimonious mom and martyr mom, also comes guilt-ridden-inferiority-
I support natural birthing.
I support needed interventions.
I support women’s rights to medications should they want them.
I support getting our babies into the world alive, and sometimes the road to that success is not a straight line.
I completely agree. I did not have a “natural” birth because {gasp} I had an epidural and Pitocin. How dare I?!?!?! The Pit I was NOT a fan of receiving, but I’m SO thankful I had the epidural because it helped my body to relax and for myself to become less tense. I was even able to sleep during contractions, and yes, I was still able to feel when I needed to push.
Yep. I also has pit and an epi. Being over 42 weeks and not progressing, I had reached a point of just get him out. That epi was awesome. I was up and walking just 10 minutes after having it removed too. 🙂
Thank you, I agree 100%.
THANK YOU for this post! I am with you- it’s absolutely wonderful that so many mothers are choosing to do things naturally, and that includes childbirth. But I refuse to look down upon those who cannot or will not have a natural delivery. Everyone has their own path as a mother, and we should respect that. I unfortunately did not have a choice- my daughter was slightly preterm and breech, and I ended up needing a C-section. And if I would have had a home birth (another topic that can be very pushy nowadays), my daughter probably would not have survived due to some severe complications after her birth. Every mama makes countless choices in their lifetime, and unless they directly hurt their child or someone else, we should support and encourage these amazing women. 🙂
Exactly!.No need for us to get preachy about things that do not matter in the grand scheme. Parents have enough worries to contend with!
Amen! If i didn’t have a c-section with my first then he very well might not be here today. I don’t feel the slightest bit of regret because I have a healthy child.
With my second I needed to have pitocin to get things moving since my.water broke and contractions never started on their own. I also *gasp* had an epidural. No regrets there either. I had been awake for almost 48 hours and that epidural helped me nap so that I could push and have a successful VBAC
Amen!
I’ve had 6 children, 4 of which were natural, after each one I struggled with my iron and recovering for me took a month at least, that was with my iron issues. With number four I had to have blood. 5 was an emergency c-section, I’, thankful for the quick response from my doctor and their knowledge to refuse my “I can do this!” pleas. With this last one, (she’s a week old today) my doctor prepared me for any VBAC procedures and possibilities, he suggested I have an epidural so my body wouldn’t go through it’s usual shock, and you know what I did. Just one week and I’m feeling like I usually do after a month with my first four. I’m not on any iron therapy as I have had to be with my others. I do agree, I don’t think it’s something to argue about or be judgmental about.
Congrats on your new little one!
I love the your openness about your position on the topic, and I totally agree. I have had two C-sections, both of babies that were at least 41 weeks along. Then last month I had a VBA2C. While I can honestly say before my vaginal delivery I was one of those women who felt l was somehow inferior to what a “natural” woman was supposed to be, the whole experience taught me a lot. First, I was never broken or incapable. Babies come different ways just like families are created different ways. Second, I would never tell another woman she was less because of a cesarean, so I shouldn’t have told myself that either. Birth is a circumstantial occurrence, everyone needs to do what is best for them to have both a healthy mom and baby at the end of the day.
Honestly, I’ve warmed up a lot to the natural birth movement since my very not natural birth. Obviously, I don’t have much love for the people who want to make women feel bad for their choices or for their experiences, but I have a lot of love for women who are strong advocates for education, informed consent, and respect for women’s bodily autonomy and humanity in the delivery room. I didn’t care about natural birth much either way before I had a baby, but the way I was treated during the birth of my daughter by medical staff, and specifically the way they took advantage of my lack of knowledge and my pain and distress, was awful. It’s not so much that I think every woman should have a natural birth, but I know now for the worst possible reasons why it is so vital for women to go into L&D informed about the procedures that may happen to them and aware of their choices, and why things would be so much better if mothers were treated as active participants in birth instead of barriers. I know not all hospitals and medical staffs are like this, but mine was, and I would very much hope no other woman ever experiences what I did. 🙁
I am so sorry you had a bad experience. No one should have to go through that. there are definitely situations and even whole regions where the hospital care can be a major concern. which is why it is nice for all of us to have choices and the ability to access knowledge on those choices. Thank you for sharing.
Very well said!!
I agree with your message. A lot of babies are alive today because of medical interventions whether the intervention was a major emergency or a minor routine… I also feel, that the people who feel the need to get passionate about “natural” child birth etc.. are the people who have been left UN necessarily scared physically and or emotionally. I know that, speaking from experience, after having one very traumatizing birth where the interventions were not necessary and led to more interventions that led to problems for an entire year post-partum, that’s not to mention, the only reason my baby was ever in distress was because of the interventions.. and then 5 years later after having a “healing” birth – where I was open to necessary interventions, but said no all of the un-necessary one that I was nearly bullied into (I had a bully nurse and a supportive Dr), where I healed so much better, and felt so much better… I feel that if I can say or do anything to help someone else avoid the type of trauma my first child and I had to go through – then I will, because to say nothing is not ok. So again.. I fully agree with your message, but we can’t invalidate the injustices that got these people all fired up about it to begin with.
I agree with you. And i am very sorry you had a traumatic first birth. that is sad and never ok. Thank you for sharing.